So, we left off at me getting married, having Thing 1 and finding out I have severe Hypothyroidism.
They started me on Synthroid, a low dose. Nothing. No help at all! You see, your TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) number should be between 3-10. Mine was 285. Yep... no lie. Within 6 months they had me on the highest dosage of Synthroid and I felt a difference in my mood and energy. Weight loss, pfffftttttt.
In February 05, I had to have my gallbladder removed. Fun stuff I tell you. It would have been fine if the doctors in the hospital werent total assholes. Not to me... but to each other. 5 days I was in the hospital. CRAZY! 4 months later... Abdominal hernia surgery. 6 months after that... I had to have nose surgery. When Thing 1 was 3, he broke my nose playing. I hate doctors, so I reset it myself. No worries. HA! I did it wrong and A bone was growing where it shouldnt have and was poking at my brain. Dangerous stuff.
All of those surgeries led me to be extremely lazy. I was so terrified of needing more surgeries, I became a hermit. I constantly forgot my thyroid meds so the weight just piled on and piled on.
When the Crohns diagnosis came, my mental health suffered. I just couldnt understand how someone could be this sick and still be this fat. Why? Why couldnt I lose the weight during flares like everyone else? I still dont fully understand, but one fact remains..... I was lazy. I didnt TRY to lose weight. I just went to bed every night hoping and praying the weight loss fairy would show up and I would wake up back in the body I so desperately want.
About 2 weeks ago I sat on my bedroom floor in tears. This is NOT who I am. This is NOT who I want to be. I want my life back. I know that things will never be the same. I wont go back to being healthy. Crohns is with me for life. But I wont let it or my thyroid beat me down anymore. I want to be around for my kids, my amazingly supportive husband.... ME. So, I joined a gym. I have done this before. Ive joined a gym before. But less than a week into it, I found excuses not to go. I wasnt ready to take my life back.
I am 2 weeks into this new lifestyle and im 6 lbs down. Its tough. My fat is fighting back... yelling at me... begging me to stop the torture. This time is different. This time im yelling back.....
Stay tuned for weekly updates of this journey to find myself and to lose this weight that has been given its eviction notice!